I have learned that, when talking about meditation, the efficacy of my argument does not rest on my ability to articulate a coherent line of reasoning, but rather on my ability to have a direct experience of Life, itself. If there was anyone that needed convincing, that is the proof.
Let’s begin with a claim for uncertainty.
It is neither my intention to write a book that has the answers, nor is it my claim to have any. All I have is my experience and perspective, however clouded by my prejudices. But this is not to begin by self-deprecation, either. I find it annoying and disingenuous when authors downplay their stories with the aim of appearing humble. So, I’m not trying to do that. I’m just admitting that I’m still mystified by so many aspects of this life; I cannot tell you why we’re here, or why there is something instead of nothing, or why we continue to search for meaning…as if there were something out there that could give purpose to our lives, in here. There is nothing. I thus remain uncertain about whether I should even publish these essays, or whether I have anything of value to share. I mean, who wants to hear, “there is nothing.”
Except, it’s the truth.
Now, the conclusion that I have come to may only be true for me, in that it relies solely on my subjective experience. However, I have come to these experiences by following the lessons of my teachers and reading texts that have been handed down, chanted and transcribed, for hundreds, if not thousands, of years; all of them are echoing the same thing about this. So there is, certainly, something objective to be said about it, and there is something objective to be taught. But I am not the teacher. I merely, barely, understand it intellectually.
The fact remains that a Truth-seeker won’t be able to wake up through intellectual means, only. Intellectual capacity is important, and mine has taken me along this path, helping me to discern bullshit from authenticity, allowing me to analyze my own behavior and patterns of thought, enabling me to write these words to you, now… and yet, I have to point out though, that for all the benefit my intellect has provided, it now stands in my way. It is precisely because I think I’m so good at critical analysis, and do so enjoy the satisfaction of rational thought, that I have been unable to destroy the armor of my own ego and unable to give up the illusion of my identity - because the truth about reality is greater and more simpler than any intellect can ever know. …But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself.